Monday, August 31, 2009

Hey, it's legal in Nevada!

So guess where I went today?



The Moonlite Bunny Ranch, filming location of the HBO reality show "Cathouse", and one of Nevada's most famous legal brothels.



I didn't have sex there. :P (Although not for lack of interest, mostly for lack of money). But I will say it wasn't as expensive as I thought it would be; sex can be had for as little as $200-$300, and happy-ending massages/blowjobs/handjobs can be had for even less. Maybe I should take up a collection. Anyone wanna chip in? You'll get pictures!

Anyway, the road leading up to the place has it's own sort of amusing road signs.







Anyway, after I took pictures outside, the madam buzzed me through the gate. I walked in and was greeted enthusiastically by the madam, and probably came off like a complete dork as I stammered that I was just here to take some pictures and get some postcards, not have sex. But she would hear none of it, and out came all of the girls, most wearing very little, to line up and introduce themselves. And I just about died, mostly from having so many people pay attention to me. I like being able to walk in someplace and scope it out for a bit before interacting with anyone, and here all of the sudden there were 15 very attractive mostly naked women smiling at me and probably expecting me to shell out some money to get naked with them. I think I just kept repeating "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you all come out, I just wanted to get some postcards!". I've got no problems being around pretty naked girls (I mean, for crap's sake, I'm going to Burning Man), my nervousness stemmed from that I hate being the center of attention, or having people go out of their way for me. Especially when I had no intention of partaking in their services.

Anyway, they did insist that I take a free tour, so I picked one of the girls out of the lineup to show me around. And actually, I picked the girl I did because she was the only one wearing street clothes and no makeup. She was a porn star, although I can't remember her name, and didn't ask what movies she'd been in. I did ask, and most of the girls generally don't allow pictures to be taken of them, unless you're having sex with them. So no pictures of the girls. Sorry! You can go to the website if you're curious (VERY NSFW. I mean, duh; http://www.bunnyranch.com/)

There was a bar and lounge area, but besides that it was mostly like a hotel. Long, long hallways with many rooms. There were two specific rooms where the HBO TV series is filmed in, and theme rooms, but given that I wasn't a serious customer, I didn't take up the girls time by asking to see them.







I guess I was there at a slow time; there were hardly any other cars in the parking lot, the place was mostly empty, and at least the girls were nice enough to reassure me that it wasn't a big deal that they came out for the lineup even though I made it clear I wasn't a real customer; they do it for just about everyone who comes in. And it was so slow that day that at least it gave them something to do.

As was to be expected, all the girls were very nice and friendly, so I did my best to be as polite as I possibly could. I still felt kinda bad occupying their time when I was just there for the novelty factor of it.

As I was getting ready to leave and poking around the gift shop, one of the girls, who was just sitting in the lounge reading a book, said "Oh, did no one take a picture with you? You can take one with me if you like". In the tour I'd seen a sign indicating that pictures with the girls were $10, and when I politely declined on the basis of not having any money, she said "Oh, don't worry about it". So hey, I got a photo with a working girl!

Aaaaaaaand . . . I'm not posting it here! Because she asked me not to. So ha :P

They didn't have any postcards in the gift shops, but I did get a few key chains which I can mail out if anyone wants them. I was tempted to buy tee-shirts for people, but I don't know too many of my friends that would actually wear a tee-shirt with "Moonlite Bunny Ranch" on them.

So, yeah! Brothel.

Anyway, I'm in a hotel in Carson City tonight, again because it was cheap and I was lazy. I've got a few more errands to run tomorrow, and then I'll head north, up into the middle of nowhere to spend a week with fifty thousand screaming naked drugged-up hippies. That's another part of the reason why I didn't partake in any of the Bunny Ranch's offerings. Why pay when I've got Burning Man coming up?

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